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Question: What if a Child I Know is Experiencing Violence at Home? |
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1) SOME BASIC TIPS:
- Allow the child to tell his or her story
- Reassure the child by validating his or her feelings
- Do not criticize or speak negatively about the abusive parent
- Do not make commitments you can’t keep
- Follow the child’s lead
2) KNOW OTHER RESOURCES THAT CAN HELP
3) IMPORTANT MESSAGES TO GIVE CHILDREN:
- It is not a child’s responsibility to keep a mother safe
- “I will do everything in my power to keep you safe”.
- When adults fight, it is an adult problem and adults need to fix it
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| REMEMBER: We all have a legal obligation to report promptly to Children’s Services if we suspect a child is or may be in need of protection from abuse, neglect or exposure to domestic violence. |
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| Question: What Do I Do About Custody and Access for my Children? |
1) SOME MEASURES TO CONSIDER –REGARDING CUSTODY AND THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN:
- Start a motion in Family Court for custody of the children (even if you were not married).
- Whatever the custody arrangements (i.e. interim custody, custody, joint custody) carry the papers with you at all times.
- Give the school a copy of the custody documents and ask to remove your ex-partner from the list of people approved to pick up the children.
- Give the school a picture of your ex-partner and clear instructions about who can and cannot pick up the children (including members of his family if that is true).
- Arrange a safe place for exchange of the children.
- Help children make their own safety plans. (For assistance you can call your local shelter or visit www.shelternet.ca). Teenagers may also find helpful information including how to make a safety plan at
www.burstingthebubble.com).
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