C.A.W.E.S., Central Alberta Women's Emergency Shelter, Red Deer, Alberta

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Since the age of 16, 51% of Canadian Women report having experienced at
least one incident of physical or sexual violence.

WHAT ABOUT MY CHILDREN?

Question: What if a Child I Know is Experiencing Violence at Home?

1) SOME BASIC TIPS:

Allow the child to tell his or her story
Reassure the child by validating his or her feelings
Do not criticize or speak negatively about the abusive parent
Do not make commitments you can’t keep
Follow the child’s lead

2) KNOW OTHER RESOURCES THAT CAN HELP

3) IMPORTANT MESSAGES TO GIVE CHILDREN:

It is not a child’s responsibility to keep a mother safe
“I will do everything in my power to keep you safe”.
When adults fight, it is an adult problem and adults need to fix it

REMEMBER: We all have a legal obligation to report promptly to Children’s Services if we suspect a child is or may be in need of protection from abuse, neglect or exposure to domestic violence.

Question: What Do I Do About Custody and Access for my Children?

1) SOME MEASURES TO CONSIDER –REGARDING CUSTODY AND THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN:

Start a motion in Family Court for custody of the children (even if you were not married).
Whatever the custody arrangements (i.e. interim custody, custody, joint custody) carry the papers with you at all times.
Give the school a copy of the custody documents and ask to remove your ex-partner from the list of people approved to pick up the children.
Give the school a picture of your ex-partner and clear instructions about who can and cannot pick up the children (including members of his family if that is true).
Arrange a safe place for exchange of the children.
Help children make their own safety plans. (For assistance you can call your local shelter or visit www.shelternet.ca). Teenagers may also find helpful information including how to make a safety plan at www.burstingthebubble.com.

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